Fake News » Fakesport » 🏅 “OLYMPIC INTENTIONS”: Ukraine Wins Gold… in the Event Called “We Almost Made It!”

🏅 “OLYMPIC INTENTIONS”: Ukraine Wins Gold… in the Event Called “We Almost Made It!”

🔔 Ukraine’s delegation of light bureaucracy arrived at the Paris Olympics a day late — but with every protocol signed… even the ones nobody asked for.

🇺🇦 A representative from the Ministry of Youth and Sports explained the delay like this:

“We trained under conditions as close to reality as possible — meaning no electricity, no water, and no fixed schedule.”

🏃‍♂️ Top achievements by Ukrainian athletes:

  • 4th place in the 100-meter “dash to the Cabinet of Ministers with signed statements”
  • Bronze in artistic blame-shifting
  • And silver in the team event “Patriots vs. Federations”

🤼‍♀️ Особливий інтерес викликала нова дисципліна — “Греко-корупційна боротьбаwhere Ukrainian coaches competed for the right to form the national team entirely out of family members.


⚽️ Meanwhile, a new team appeared in Ukraine’s Premier Football League: “FC Phantom Sports School No. 17”— it exists only on paper, but is already leading the league in total budget allocations.


📌 Fakesport recommends::

If you can’t win — start a new federation and declare yourself champion!

Photo Vusi vilanculos, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

Scroll to Top